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You could hear the screams
as the planes hit the towers
on that dreadful day.

Loved ones were lost
firefighters paid the cost tragic.
risking their lives for you and me

The fire was unbearable
one thought went through their heads
should they burn or should they jump
the tragic choice was theirs to make.

Seeing what happened was terrible
knowing there was nothing we could do
to take back the actions that happened that morning.

We could grieve or be angry
but nothing can change
what happened that day.

© Amy L. Thatcher

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The flames are out, the debris is cleared…
From that day that we all feared…
To remember those who died that day…
We showed our American pride in many ways…
We hung out the flags and made donations…
To show our pride for our nation…
American slogans written on cars…
Sympathy came from near and far…
Volunteered our time to those we’d never met…
Hoping to aid in the worry and fret…
We lit candles with neighbors and friends…
Showing our pride just wouldn’t end…
Red, White, and Blue was seen everywhere…
Where have they gone, it just isn’t fair…
Is it that people just no longer care…
Are they no longer saying those prayers…
Are all of the flags stuck under the bed…
Did they forget about all who are dead…
American husbands, daughters, and sons are still fighting…
So why are the candles no longer lighting…
Flags went out of stock in every store…
Now they’re no longer hanging by each door…
The war is not over, their still fighting for us…
So few show the colors, is it too much too much of a fuss…
So if you’re one who has put your flag away…
Remember our soldiers are still fighting each day…
So take out the Red, White, and Blue and fly it high… For the soldiers at war that still may die…
Our patriotism should have only just begun…
Do not forget who they are and what they’ve done…
September 11 will stay in our hearts forever, and so should our pride…
AMERICANS RAISE THOSE FLAGS HIGH

© Keifer J. Pesola

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Over the next several days leading up to 9/11, various writings/poems/etc. will be posted on the site. They will post at specific times associated with some of the major events of 9/11 (the first crash, the building collapse, etc.) The final post on 9/11 is a Memorial to Kenneth Tietjen as part of the 2996 Project.

All of those lost should be remembered on 9/11.

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That’s leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose…you’re everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you’re all I want, You’re all I need
You’re everything,everything
You’re all I want your all I need
You’re everything, everything.
You’re all I want you’re all I need.
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want you’re all I need, you’re everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

I’m just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I’d rather swim ashore

Without a life vest, I’d be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like ‘fourteen miles away’

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I’m sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I’m cold as cold as cold can be
be

I want to swim away but don’t know how
Sometimes it feels just like I’m falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now…come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
The jetsam sunk, I’m left behind
I’m treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I’m reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don’t know how
Sometimes it feels just like I’m falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now…come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove I knew how (yeah)
It’s midnight’s late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
So thought no end my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean…end it all

[Zayra]
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don’t know how
Sometimes it feels just like I’m falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now…come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(In to space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I never thought I’d die alone
I laughed the loudest who’d have known
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn’t think enough
I’m too depressed, to go on
You’ll be sorry when I’m gone

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn’t wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we’d survived
I couldn’t wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I’d die alone
Another six months I’ll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You’ll never set foot in my room again
You’ll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn’t wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we’d survived
I couldn’t wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can’t wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I’d survived
I can’t wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone

The physical, the elemental pain
was sometimes beyond my understanding.
My flesh was torn; my body fighting in vain
to detach itself from my mind; fleeing

My mind is shattered, no longer free
A castle gutted by flame, hate and greed.
A candle smothered. Why did you not see
me hurt? I am drowning. Do you see me bleed?

Dear God, art thou in heaven? Did I sin?
Am I forsaken? Why did you not know
my soul was being devoured by kin?
I am the Godless, lost and dying too slow.

I thought I won the battle for my life,
but here I lay, holding a bloody knife.

© Ryan Sales

Judge overturns Calif. gay marriage ban – U.S. news – Life – msnbc.com.

Great News on the Equality Forefront Today.  On to the 9th Circuit now and ultimately, the Supreme Court.

Another old poem I ran across while cleaning out some papers. Best I can tell it’s circa 1996.

The physical, the elemental pain
was sometimes beyond my understanding.
My flesh was torn; my body fighting in vain
to detach itself from my mind; fleeing.

My mind is shattered, no longer free
A castle gutted by flame, hate and greed
A candle smothered. Why did you not see
me hurt? I am drowning. Do you see me bleed?

Dear God, art thou in heaven? Did I sin?
Am I forsaken? Why did you not know
my soul was being devoured by kin?
I am the Godless, lost and dying too slow.

I thought I won the battle for my life,
but here I lay, holding a bloody knife.

© Ryan Sales

What do you do when the one you love the most is the one who hurts you the most?

I’m the guy who will text you every single morning and tell you good morning and every single night to tell you sweet dreams.

I’m the guy who will hold you when you’re crying and wipe away your tears.

I’m the guy who won’t pressure you to do things you dont want to.

I’m the guy who will show up at your house with soup and a movie when you aren’t feeling well.

I’m the guy who kisses you on the forehead.

I’m the guy who doesnt kiss and tell.

I’m the guy who actually listens to you when you talk.

I’m the guy who’s excited all day because im looking forward to our date that night.

I’m the guy who is content to just be able to hold you and wants nothing more.

I’m the guy who can’t help but smile when you walk into the room.

I’m the guy who’s perfectly content with staying in and watching movies and cuddling.

I’m the guy who won’t lie to you about where he’s going or where he’s been or who he’s been with.

I’m the guy who gets butterflies when he hears your name.

I’m the guy who’s not afraid to tell his friends he loves you.

I’m the guy who doesnt mess with other guys when I have you.

I’m the guy who doesn’t care about your imperfections and loves you more for them.

I’m the guy who will hold you while we watch the sunset.

I’M THE GUY WHO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST GUY IN THE WORLD.

I AM THIS GUY…. one of many…. who always ends up loosing him to the jerks who’ll treat him like crap and are “too good of a friend” to date.

I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am a warrior for my country, serving proud, but can’t be my true self because gays aren’t allowed in the military.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson.” This boy was Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998, Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of hate. Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 AM at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. HE WAS KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!!!

I ran across this poem from an old friend the other day.  Hopefully he won’t mind me sharing…

In the far off distance of the
past where honor was the cause
and the effect was heart tearing,
I tried to understand my difference
in this world but I didn’t find
the understanding which I craved
so.

I was like a hungry lion looking
for his prey, stalking it, pouncing
yet it got away. I hungered for
knowledge, yet I died of starvation
from lack of wisdom.

People told me to grab the world with
both hands or it will pass me by. I was
paralized to watch it decay. The
endless corruption, the violent and horrendous
acts of people. I treid to stop them
yet I was paralized only to pray.
I breathed their polluted emotions and
drank their intocixated blood, I didn’t
crave it, I had no choice, but to live,
to live in the pollution, the darness,
the family of my past. But I have
recovered.

© Blake Rackley

Dear Gay Man,

Life is too short to live without being Happy.

I was taught a valuable lesson long ago, if you’re not happy with yourself, only a fool would try to change you, I’m nobody’s fool.

Most people never look beyond the surface to see what lies underneath, and for those I offer pity because they will never know what true love they may have passed up along the way searching for the next, the next and the next. Thru their path along a rocky road they learn no lesson but rather continue with the same repeated pattern of frustration, and self destruction.

It’s a very superficial world in which we live, full of advertisements telling us what we need, what we need to look like, and how “cute and sexy” the one standing beside us needs to be. Do they tell you what you’re suppose to do when you need someone to hold your hand, when you have to face another lonely evening looking at your monitor instead of into someone’s eyes, do they tell you how you’re suppose to cope when the current person in you life moves along because he found something better, even though the only attraction you had to him was because he was cute. How long are you going to go thru life treating people so bad because something about them doesn’t meet up to the standards of an X-boyfriend that hurt you. Think who lied to you, who used you, and who loved you without conditions. But you chose to lie to him that loved you, and treated him with disrespect because others have questioned “why” he’s a part of your life, and you answered it to yourself, because he’s honest and treats me with respect, but you still made the choice to live life with their shallow superficial standards instead of those in your heart. How about that wonderful meal you cooked, guess what, tomorrow you’re eating leftovers because there is no one to share it with.

Then there are holidays with the family, another year goes by you go alone. They’re really wondering why you don’t have someone with you, are you that hard to live with? And if you think your family doesn’t know you’re gay, ask around, you haven’t dated a girl since high school, your shirts are always ironed, and you have the best looking nails at the table, not to mention you brought the best looking dessert. H E L L O, they know, but respect your privacy until you’re ready to confirm.

And if you want to go there on religion, ok where did GOD say it was wrong to love a man? A lot of others did, because they were lonely judgmental people, but does their judgment of you make it any better? Do they bring you happiness? Do they give you the love, respect, consideration, and admiration you deserve? No only the person that loves you UNCONDITIONALLY and God can do that.

So do you love yourself enough to allow for your total happiness? If you don’t maybe you just need to go shopping and buy a new outfit, at least that way the surface shoppers can say, “he’s cute” and never slow down enough to say, “He’s one hell of a man.”

Sincerely,

The one you just walked past.

PS. Every day of life should be a new adventure. If you forget to smile along the way, you passed someone by that could have benefited from it.

I recently listened to a series of insightful lectures on the American Civil War given by Dr. Gary Gallagher, a professor of History at the University of Virginia. Early on, Dr. Gallagher analyzed the failure of America’s political leadership to find a compromise on slavery in the days and years leading up to secession and the catastrophic and bloody war. There was the careful attempt to admit to the Union, in tandem, one slave state and one free state to insure the balance of power in the Senate. Henry Clay of Kentucky, the “great compromiser” helped to work out the division of Western territory so that this balance was to be preserved “in perpetuity.” Slavery, however, was not a political battle that could ultimately be negotiated; it was rather a moral battle that did not lend itself to compromise. It pitted a new consciousness against a dying definition. Slavery could not be partially moral or moral under some circumstances. It was either moral or immoral. There was no middle ground.

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Project Life Vest – A lifevest to at-risk LGBTQ youths in need.

I can’t help but wonder how many gay and lesbian youth may have spared their own lives if projects like this had been around years ago.  Gay and lesbian youth need to know that there is a support system out there to help them when their own families will not; they need to know that there are people who will love them for who they are without question.

I think what Derrick Martin is doing is a wonderful service to young gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth.

Congrats Derrick, you truly are an outstanding hero to the young, gay community.

How To Learn The Perry v. Schwarzenegger Decision By Text – Towleroad, More than gay news. More gay men.

If you’re looking to learn the Prop 8 Decision as soon as it’s made public, take a look here about receiving a text immediately upon release.

Win/Win: DOMA Found Unconstitutional In District Court – Towleroad, More than gay news. More gay men.

This could be cause for celebration for sure.  To have actual Federal Courts declare DOMA unconstitutional is HUGE.  Judge Walker’s decision in the California Prop 8 Case is expected any day now as well and for all practical purposes the news is expected to be good out of that case as well.

Expect a showdown at the Supreme Court soon enough.

Can’t help but share from Facebook again because I figure it will be gone in the morning…

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