i admit

i admit
to suffocating my heart
for the sake of love
of longing for desire

i admit
to suffocating my mind
with the knowledge
that no one knows

i admit
to suffocating my soul
and choking the life
from my limp body

i admit
to suffocating my body
from the world i know
for no purpose

i admit
to suffocating my faith
which left me behind
because i’m different

i admit
to sometimes compromising
what is best for me
by doing what i should not

i admit
to sometimes not admitting
that what i need
i don’t know

i admit
to sometimes forgetting
to tell people
that i do care

i admit
to sometimes misrepresenting
the falsities of life
to those i love

i admit
to sometimes not overlooking
the little things and
ignoring things too large

i admit
to being selfish
because i wanted you
to want me to want you

i admit
to being afraid
of living alone
not knowing someone

i admit
to being careless
with my heart
the few pieces left

i admit
to being stupid
and not admitting
that i can learn new things

i admit
to being arrogant
but sometimes
i am better

i admit
to assuming too much
and knowing too little
of the truth

i admit
to knowing too little
and trusting too openly
those i don’t know

i admit
to trusting too openly
and confessing too often
with my heart wide open

i admit
to confessing too often
and hiding too much
from those who care

i admit
to hiding too much
and i admit
that i do need you