hanging on

i never liked my life
it’s never been an easy one
no one wanted to be my friend
my best friend was always myself
i wondered what i could do
i tried and tried
but nothing worked
what was wrong with me
i always wondered
i tried to hang on to everything
but i just wanted to let go
most people have parents
i have a parent
my dad resents me
i wondered why but i don’t know
he won’t talk or look
it’s his loss though not mine
when i think of him
i hate him so much
but yet people think i should still love him
why after what he did
i tried to hang on to the memories
but i just wanted to let go
when you find a best friend
you want to keep him forever
why can’t it happen this way
why do things change
especially for the worse
people would ask if something was wrong
but i would just say
nothing
everything
something
why is life so hard
so hard to hang on to
i got tired of life
i wanted to let go
i decided to let go
i got so tired not long after
my head felt so weird
what was wrong
something was happening
but i don’t….

merry-go-round

hey girl what’s going on
is there something happening between us
is there something wrong
since we’re going on a merry-go-round

can’t figure out where i’m going
up and down on a merry-go-round
i wonder where i’ve been
round and round on a merry-go-round

i want to know if something’s wrong
don’t you still love me girl
sometimes i can’t tell
since we’ve been on a merry-go-round

i wonder where i’m going
up and down on a merry-go-round
can’t figure out where i’ve been
round and round on a merry-go-round

i don’t think you love me anymore
why not i always loved you
what’s happening between us
we need to get it together

can’t figure out where i’m going
up and down on a merry-go-round
i wonder where i’ve been
round and round on a merry-go-round

girl please don’t go
i don’t know what i would do
i’m already confused enough
going up and down on a merry-go-round

girl i thought we had a good thing
but sometimes i can be wrong
i’m hanging on for dear life
going round and round
on a merry-go-round

can’t figure out what’s happening
since we’re going up and down
on a merry-go-round
what will become of me after your gone
since i’m going round and round
on a merry-go-round

round and round i go
where i stop i don’t know
up and down on a merry-go-round
round and round i go
i’m riding fast or making it slow
cause i’m taking a chance
on a merry-go-round
round and round i go
where i stop i don’t know
up and down on a merry-go-round

standing outside the fire

standing outside the fire
i look in to see my friends
i wonder where they’ve been
since i’ve been
standing outside the fire

standing outside the fire
i wonder if something’s wrong
i’m not there with them
why are they inside while i’m
standing outside the fire

standing outside the fire
i see the turmoil and dysfunction
of all of those inside
why must it happen to them when i’m
standing outside the fire

standing outside the fire
i here my friends plea for freedom
why can’t they have it
i’ve got my freedom right here
standing outside the fire

standing outside the fire
i’ve got so much more
but why aren’t we equal
i can’t help it that i’m
standing outside the fire

standing outside the fire
i don’t want to go in
i’ll stay right here
right here where i am
standing outside the fire

and the band played on

society is corrupted
and everything is wrong
they wonder what is going on in the world
but the band plays on

the people want power
but the powerful don’t want the people
what’s wrong in this world
with the band playing on

what’s wrong with this picture
the innocent are dying
and the guilty are free
and the band plays on

there’s rage in this world
but no one wants to admit it
what’s wrong is there a problem
but the band plays on

the people are corrupted
but the corrupted aren’t the people
there’s something wrong in this world
with the band playing on

this world is a screwed up place
no one knows what’s right or wrong
we’re heading for disaster
and the band plays on

the world is in chaos
sometimes i wonder what could be wrong
a good man dies
and the band played on

peace

peace is something i’ve never known
sometimes i wonder what it may be
war is so overwhelming
people say peace is best
but i wouldn’t know

i don’t like to fight
neither do my friends
is this peace
i don’t know
i wonder could it be

peace is a subject of the world
everyone has their own
in one way or another
i wonder could it be
a separate peace for you and me

i don’t know

my past was a hard one
when i think of it
my mind is infuriated with anger but
i don’t know

one day a guy comes along
he seems as harmless as can be
i talk to him and get to know him but
i don’t know

we become friends not long after
for reasons beyond comprehension
we become friends for some reason
i don’t know

our lives they started changing
yes as things always will
hard times set in and anger became will
i don’t know

i started thinking of my past
why should i relive what’s already done
i became angry with everyone but
i don’t know

my mind starts racing
racing with thoughts
i wonder what’s happening but
i don’t know

our friendship has been proven
but will it last
i wonder and wonder but
i don’t know

one day i moved away
i wonder what may happen
i know we will always be friends oh yes
i do know

the storm

off in the distance
i here the thunder rolling
the sky turns grey
and the wind blows

it begins to sound like a runaway freight train
rumbling down the track
crushing everything in its way
the engineer never looks back

the wind becomes stronger
and howls like a wounded animal
it’s so loud i can’t hear myself think
i wonder what may happen

the rain starts pouring
beating on the roof
what’s happening
i don’t know what could it be

and then it happened
there was a loud bang…

next thing you see is a light
a bright light off in the distance
you wonder where you are
you don’t know

you ask someone
they tell you not to worry
it’s over now it’s all over
you fall away to a deep sleep

was it a dream
or did you live it
the horror the awesomeness of
the storm

Preface

When I set forth to put together this collection of poetry, I did not know how much I would discover about myself through the process. I have read each poem again and realized all the events that have lead me to where I am today. It is an amazing experience to start from the beginning with “the storm” and continue to the current ending. There are many emotions involved within these words. Each poem represents some point in my life; some event I have experienced.

I hope you, the reader, gets something out of these poems as well. They have a much deeper meaning than just what appears. Sit back and read. Let them consume you and take you where they may. Let the emotions run free. And most of all, simply enjoy.